Relief

I’m finally coming home tomorrow. This will be great. I will be home for more than three days. I just need the stress to be gone and be surrounded by family. Call me if you want to see me.

Reality.

It’s funny how a day just flips. Everything that happened today just turned south. There’s nothing about today that makes me feel good. My roommate (the one who never does dishes or picks up his stuff) just told me to clean up after my dog or I should give him away. What a fucking asshole. I understand if I need to clean a little but to tell me to get rid of Edwin after I rescued him. That’s fucking horrible. I talked to him and told him that I’ll clean if he can keep his stuff up. We’ll see how that goes. This for some odd reason through me in a funk. Everything I did today flipped over that. 

Aside from that, my day was good. 

I woke up early and drove to Wimberley to meet up with my friends to longboard. I met them at a gas station that apperently sold the best breakfast tacos ever. They were ok. We then proceed to the first hill. We skated down to the actual hill we were going to bomb but on the way down I made the stupidest mistake. I decided to foot brake on something I have done like ten times. I ate it. I nailed the side of my hip. It’s brusied. I got up through and it wasn’t a big deal. We then sessioned the hill and it was wonderful. At one point I found a fork and decided to film with it. I’ll post up a video after I make an edit of it. 

The next hill we hit was just amazing. A descending left 90 degree corner. I felt so good on that hill. It was just nice. I wish we could have stayed there longer. 

The next hill is a favorite of mine. It’s called Red Hawk. It’s like a roller coaster. Three drops that pushes your stomach up. Wonderful.

I have footage of everything.

I’m just ready to go. Get away from here. Just fucking leave. 

Personal.

I think I’m at that time again in my life where I’m at a stalemate with myself. I’ve been stuck in trenches for a good time now and it’s hard to see the brightness over the mound. I’ve been too far gone in school and work to see what I need to succeed. I’m forgetting about my friends. The ones I have made from the past and present. I need a reset. I need to jump out and run. Straight through the bard wire, past the mines. I need to be in that other trench. The one with happiness in it. It’s just too damn hard though. I have an absolute hate for Facebook. It reminds me of my friends and what I have missed and that I miss them as well. I just stare at the pictures of them having fun and wonder why am I not there. Why did I not join them when I was invited. Why? It’s hard. It’s hard to see these things. Along with that, I’m having a hard time getting past the opposing forces. That one girl. I can’t help but thinking of her when she posts something. It kills me. Just to think about her. That sad part is that I think I severed my only tie to her. Friendship. That’s everything I ever wanted. I’m just a horrible person. Yet again though, I’m stuck. In this trench. And the depressions of war are getting to me. I’m going to stick it through though. I can do this. I need to escape this. Help.

Life.

It’s looking better. I’ve been in a negative mood lately and I had a wonderful conversation with Kaylan. It really helped.

Today helped as well. 

Work was nothing difficult. Cute girl at the end. 

Then I got to skate Quail Run, which was nice to spend time with two dudes I don’t see enough. 

Then ate healthy for dinner.

Then had a great session with Cody, Cody, Connor, and two guys we met at the garages. We pulled so much speed and then to end it, we bomb Sessom and hit around 37-40 mph. Wonderful

Area.

I want to rip you to fucking shreds.

I want to destroy you. 

I want to leave. 

I don’t want to remember any of this.

Dweeb.

I really am one. I can’t say or do anything right at times. A random mess of words seems to come out of my mouth. My actions are always wrong. This is always when I’m around a girl. I’m a mess. I have always been a mess. It really sucks. Along with the fact that most of the time I wish I was single. I’m tired of this really. While watching my dog outside, I came to the realization of this. It also sucks only having this one life. It really sucks that I never got to really date other people…Today was just bleh. Nothing went right. I just am fucked. FUCK. Seriously FUCK. This girl. This fucking girl. 

I’m a dweeb. 

Nothing good.

Personal.

Everyone longs to be in a great relationship. I sometimes wish though that I was single again.

Present.

I think it may be sad that I have been trying to forget old friends. Yet I miss them.

Geez

I live with two fucking bros. They really don’t care about anything except themselves and getting laid. This is stupid. I have been getting on everyone for electricity and now that the bill comes and is $40 they give a shit. I want to fucking stomp sense into them. I’m so irritated. Today was decent but blah.

Shattered.

It’s going to be one of those days when my heart aches. Feelings will be the only thing running through my head. No Biochemistry, no virology, and no work. There goes my day.